20s is an impressionable age. You are figuring out not only yourself, but the world around you and a lot of what you are is a mixture of the influences on you in this age. The biggest influence I had at that age was of writer Ayn Rand.
Her most famous work is The FountainHead, a work of fiction chronicling the life and struggles of Howard Roark, a great architect. Ayn Rand is a believer of the philosophy known as ”Óbjectivism” and through Howard Roark, she tries to convey the principles of Objectivism and its day to day application. It is a principle where a human being is considered the best creation and the core of the book lies in a belief that a man should center everything around his own self, and he should be self motivated, self sufficient and self driven.
There are several interesting characters throughout the book, namely Toohey, Dominique, Guy Francon and Peter. They represent the opposing philosophies of collectivism as opposed to Roark’s objectivism. At the impressionable age of 22 I fell in love with Roark’s character. It was anti-system, rebellious, confident and supremely attractive in a movie hero way.
Now when I am over 30, married and have a family and seen more of life, this book seems like a radical idea that is impractical to achieve as a human cannot be the way Roark has been pictured in this boo. A (wo)man lives in a society and we are interconnected to each other in several different threads and saying I will go at it alone will just be what it is – “pompous”. While some concepts about integrity, self reliance, excellence are great, the core of the book is not convincing anymore. I wonder how my life would have been had I not read this book at all at that age.
So have you read a book that has changed its meaning for you over the years? Do let me know!
This was in my drafts for almost ages.. I am publishing this as is because my Grandpa is no more and the conclusion for this does not matter to me any more.. at least in his case.. Taata, wherever you are, I sincerely hope you rest in peace and keep the smile on 🙂
The original draft:
My husband is not a movie person… n I am one.. so after marriage my theater visits have gone down drastically (it hurts when u have to plan as well as pay for those expensive tickets :P).. The consequence of this is that I am always on the lookout for movies whenever they are on tv.. On a week day last week while switching the channels i watched Guzaarish being aired on one of the channels.. having heard some rave reviews i started watching the movie from somewhere in-between.. i heard Ethan pleading Euthanasia..his mom, his doctor and his nurse also thinking he should die, rather than suffering the way he did. I could not watch the movie till the end as it was very late in the night already and I had to get to work the next day. I could not take a stand on the topic too.. I went to bed with euthanasia in my mind… I got up and started getting ready to go office when I saw my grandpa dozing off on our couch on the drawing hall and the previous night’s movie and thoughts came back to me with a dull shock.. Now you might be wondering what is the connection between Grandpa and Guzaarish.. So here goes the details- My grandpa, 78 years old is suffering from a very low degree of Alzheimer’s disease. He has very little control over his body and his movements and his memory is very weak. He does not have control over his urine and bowel movements and ends up urinating or defecating before he actually reaches the WC. He has a horde of other small problems like forgetting the day of the week, time of the day and other stuff. Sometimes he’s found bathing at 3 AM in the midnight or asking for dinner just after he’s finished it.
2012.. The year where everything was supposed to end.. Is finally coming to an end and except for the year nothing much has ended.. So here are a few things I would like to jot down..
Biggest biggest thing is that my son turned a year and is growing up really fast. He can say small words, understands what we say and is a happy young thing. And very cute too.. Don’t believe me?? See for yourselves 🙂
Mamma.. I’m not cute!!
We bought a brand new Maruti Suzuki Ertiga VDI model in July, which is amazing. This has changed how my hubby and I look at travel. This led to the other big thing which is that I traveled out of Bangalore, on a vacation to Wayanad with hubby after a really long time. This is a big deal for me because being a travel bug, not travelling was one of the things that were bringing me down big time. We enjoyed the travel so much that we have made a commitment to travel again as soon as possible. This time full family though..
Daddy got retired. But not much of a difference, because he has taken up some or the other teaching assignments and is as busy as ever. He is going to be busier next year when he will join the staff of
ACS college which is on Mysore road and will involve a certain amount of travel.
The best thing of this year is probably the way my personal life is going. From roller coaster of anger and love it is moving towards a smooth sailing phase of understanding and acceptance. Where the shouts are lesser and whispers are more. I am not going to say more here. It might get jinxed:).
Happy new year all of you.[Or Me- The writer and the sole reader of this blog ;)]
May you have great health and lots of happiness in the coming year
Update on this post:
I have been walking pretty regularly except for the week that I stayed at my parent’s house. During that time I played badminton with my li’l cousin Ananya a couple of times. So the fitness drive is on, not in the top gear though, but definitely on.
So, why is it such a big deal, you ask. It is a big deal for me because i have a history of NOT sticking on to any habit, any “GOOD” habit. Journal writing, dieting, exercising and a lot of other things that I have tried have fallen off my daily schedule after a week or two. Sustaining a habit for a month is a big achievement in itself and I am very proud of it. I have to give the credit for this to my internet Guru Leo of Zen Habits. In one of his posts he says “Just put those shoes on and walk out of the house” when talking about creating an exercise habit. I just followed this blindly and I am very very happy that I did.
Also, I am beginning to see the benefits of exercise, my weight saw a downward trend after a really really long time and that itself is a big motivation for me to carry on. So, lets c how it goes..
Wait [Weigh?? :)] n Watch … 🙂
2010 was a big year in my life
* My marriage moved into the second quarter and we went on to complete one year.
* I changed my job. Quit the f*****g PFT and joined Sonata.
A lot of other small things but 2011 is going to be really big.. probably the biggest because i’m going to have a baby. Yes 3rd July 2011 +/- 6 days is what the doctors have predicted.
The year is already starting off with a major change since hubby is traveling to UK on work.. we r planning to buy us an apartment once he comes back..
So am looking forward to really really exciting stuff this year..
Hope all goes well..
The year 2010 has a very special meaning in my life. My marriage enters the second quarter 😛 and is getting sweeter and spicier.. slurrrpp..!! 🙂 ..
Ok, a li’l bit background.. I am a software developer working for almost four years. So my typical routine had been get up, get ready to go to office.. go to office.. sit in office, keep sitting in office , have lunch, continue sitting in office and come back home and get ready for bed and go to sleep. All this while exercising and being physically were always at the back of my mind but never got any action. Then I got married.. Due to much encouragement received from hubby, Mr G, in the form of goading, threatening etc etc.. I finally started walking.. And what a beautiful thing it has been..
In a smoke filled city like Bangalore( feel very sad to say so.. but its true) breathing fresh air in a vehicular noise free time zone is a true joy. Do it to believe it. Also, when u walk you get to see beautiful things like flowers and early sun rise.. which are just so refreshing.. You also get so much time to introspect(if u really a person of that kind).. which helps u keep ur emotions in check in these stress filled times..
So following my theme.. hubby also thought of doing something more(he’s always been a health freak).. He bought a cycle,a Firefox Cyclone, with 21 gears and amazingly light body. Its got a jazzy body with blue and gray both my favorite colors and we both ride on it whenever we can.. which is not often enough yet.. but…we will be there.. So the title of the post..
So to conclude, in my personal calender, 2010 becomes the year of health and the year FOR health..
Health and happiness to all..
This is my second day on the looong weekend… but as much as I hate to admit it I’m bored.. there’s nothing interesting on tv.. no tickets available for tzp(taare zameen par.. fyi).. n i have no books to read.. so i thought i’ll do some browsing.. half an hour into that n i got bored of tht too .. 😦 .. i’ve had 6 hours of sleep during daytime y’day.. im bored to sleep as well.. yeah!!! bored to sleep.. the weather is no means conducive to go out.. so even that option is out.. so im stuck with this option.. of writing some crap in my blog.. when i have nothing intelligent to say.. so.. i will write about some one i dearly love.. but is no more.. something that was im my mind for a loong time. but never had the guts to spill it out..
Chitti .. my beautiful sis.. who chose to walk away from the world.. an year and half ago.. we both r born in the same month .. an year and two days apart.. from child hood.. we were alway treated like siamese twins. n we beahved that way .. stciking with each other every time we were around each other.. but as time passed . we realised how different we were fro each other.. she was the hot headed, volatile and dynamic person.. n i was the calm natured, balanced and obedient person.. naturally i was the good gal in he family.. watever the family percieved us as we were still on good terms.. enjoying the times that we spent with each other.. then. i did something to blow it up… though we patched up later.. it was never the same.. n both of us knew we were putting on an act.. we spent very li’l time with each other.. n completely lost track of each other’s private lives… i dint try to reach out and bridge the gap thinking she had a good circle of friends and does not need me.. maybe she felt the same .. i will never know.. and on one wednesday.. wen i came back from the office and held a cup of coffee in my hands.. we got the news that changed my life completely… first time death as an eternal loss became a reality.. n im left craving for the person i ran away from when she was alive .. was with us…
bottom line of the whole story is that in today’s busy world we dont stop n care for the ppl wen they really need it.. now wen im prepared to shower all my love on her.. she’s not there.. wen i feel like sharing something wid her.. i have to talk to a photo.. n one who has not gone through this will never ever understand the enormity of this pain.. so if u happen read this.. do remember.. the ppl in ur life also come with an end date.. and after that they are gone.. so care for them when they are with u… otherwise u will also end up talking to a photo..
in all ur eccentricities and madness was a beautiful heart.. that loved and cared.. in all the paths in front of u..
u chose to walk the path of death…
in all my life have never met a person like u …
may ur soul always rest in peace..